The single most annoying advert ever invented is showing on a screen near you. It’s annoying because it assumes you, the viewer, are a bit of a thickie.

No, it’s not the AA advert, though it does feature music. I’m talking about the Kronenburg 1664 one.

An unseen composer starts to write L’Overture de 1664, gets interrupted by someone pouring him a lager and never finishes it. A modern-day orchestra then plays what he’d written.

Except, the tune they play is by Henry Purcell, born 1659. He would have been five years old at the time of writing, not to mention a five-year-old with an alcohol problem.

Anyone who’s listened to The Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra by Benjamin Brittain will recognise the tune anyway, so why use it? Why not use one of the wealth of existing modern composers to come up with something original? No – they just assume that the audience is thick and won’t have heard of classical music.